Deary me.
Back to work and stopped blogging. That's how it goes. Got my results from the coloscopy, without remark. So I'll guess we are back att colon irritable.
No, nothing to post at all. We'll nothing to write. Nothing serious. I' ll just have to start trying to think again.
No love in my life yet.
Just crazy watching my Dark angels dvd falling all sexed up by Michaael Weatherly, or should I say Logan Cale, and just totally mesmerized by Rufus Wainwritgh. Dreaming away. Just dreaming away.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Bridget Jones Diary
watching the first one. Had forgotten how fun it is. How great the actors are, and how young Colin Firth is. OK I loved Colin already in Another Country, and Hugh Grant in Maurice. I remember deciding wich VHS to buy on a schooltrip to London, on some 19 years ago. Should I buy Another country with Rupert Everett or Life of Brian. Hm...... I now feeling like a pedofile realise that Life of Brian would have been a better choice. Colin..... I loved you at 22 but somehow it is good my VHS recorder stopped working.
Anyway.....maybe I should try to get hold of Bridget Jones Diary, one.
Anyway.....maybe I should try to get hold of Bridget Jones Diary, one.
I am no Hero
and I'll never will be.
I sort of find the talk of heroes more and more overrated, in sports, in war, in other aspects. But I love fantasy movies and epic war stories. I want to believe there are heroes like Aragon. Sadly, age and life leaves me less and less convinced.
Idon't know what the dictionnary says. But here are some thoughts. A hero, or heroic actions is doing something for others at a severe cost on your own account. A hero is somebody who takes lemons and makes lemonade. A hero is somebody who is changing from victim to responsible.
I watched "Farewell Bafana" about the prisonguard of Mandela. Hm, actually I thought Mandela was a hero, I am not sure after watching the movie. Is it heroic to use violence. In what way was he more heroic than those people who suffered apartheid from day to day on the streets, white, black or asian. Sometimes I think we mix up heroes and leaders. That he was a great human being and a great leader no doubt. But hero?
And the prisonguard, so human, he did "send" according to the movie several people to certain death by forwarding information, but at the same time he sought his own way within the system and treated the prisoners whith respect. He showed that you can choose, that "I was only obeing orders" is a myth. Was he a hero. No, but heroic in many ways. He made a stand when many didn't.
I saw the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", all these battles, fighting, for land, wealth, people and war it self. Truly heroes. Or? It impress me, mesmerizes me, and still leaves me oddly uncomfortable. More and more, the heroic acts seem to me to be the ones that spared life rather then took taking them.
Last night there was a documentary about french jewish children during the seccond world war. Tragic, but important. I always thought french wasn't much for resistance. But this documentary was a story not only about tragedies and lost families but also about small and great heroic acts.
About ordinary french families who took in children in their homes, some families not very nive though. It is easy to loose faith in life and humans. That's why we need those stories. Sad or hopeful. A boy had been sent away on summer camp, his father heartsick bicycled to the camp, gave the boy the most valuable item they owned, told him to stay away or something and left. What does it take to do that? Isn't that heroic. The mother and father was taken away. The boy was hid by the manager of the camp, she managed to send him away in hiding.
There was a whole village led by a young I think schoolteacher who hid several children and teenagers. Heroes? The schoolteacher was arrested.
A jewish woman who smuggeled children.
A headmistress and schoolteachers who hid their jewish pupils.
To me that is heroic.
There's a television program in Sweden awarding "everyday hero's". A bit maudling, but important. Things like fighting for rights of women, helping somebody who is attacked by violence.
Maybe heroic acts should include, being a single parent trying to do your best for your children, taking care of a demented spouse, standing up to a bully in school, enduring a horrible medical treament, hiding a refuge. It is easy to search for heroes in movies and history, but what about now. Do we have the courage to truly question what happens or the courage to help somebody in trouble. Don't know.
I don't know if I Believe in heroes anymore, but I do believe in heroic actions.
I sort of find the talk of heroes more and more overrated, in sports, in war, in other aspects. But I love fantasy movies and epic war stories. I want to believe there are heroes like Aragon. Sadly, age and life leaves me less and less convinced.
Idon't know what the dictionnary says. But here are some thoughts. A hero, or heroic actions is doing something for others at a severe cost on your own account. A hero is somebody who takes lemons and makes lemonade. A hero is somebody who is changing from victim to responsible.
I watched "Farewell Bafana" about the prisonguard of Mandela. Hm, actually I thought Mandela was a hero, I am not sure after watching the movie. Is it heroic to use violence. In what way was he more heroic than those people who suffered apartheid from day to day on the streets, white, black or asian. Sometimes I think we mix up heroes and leaders. That he was a great human being and a great leader no doubt. But hero?
And the prisonguard, so human, he did "send" according to the movie several people to certain death by forwarding information, but at the same time he sought his own way within the system and treated the prisoners whith respect. He showed that you can choose, that "I was only obeing orders" is a myth. Was he a hero. No, but heroic in many ways. He made a stand when many didn't.
I saw the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", all these battles, fighting, for land, wealth, people and war it self. Truly heroes. Or? It impress me, mesmerizes me, and still leaves me oddly uncomfortable. More and more, the heroic acts seem to me to be the ones that spared life rather then took taking them.
Last night there was a documentary about french jewish children during the seccond world war. Tragic, but important. I always thought french wasn't much for resistance. But this documentary was a story not only about tragedies and lost families but also about small and great heroic acts.
About ordinary french families who took in children in their homes, some families not very nive though. It is easy to loose faith in life and humans. That's why we need those stories. Sad or hopeful. A boy had been sent away on summer camp, his father heartsick bicycled to the camp, gave the boy the most valuable item they owned, told him to stay away or something and left. What does it take to do that? Isn't that heroic. The mother and father was taken away. The boy was hid by the manager of the camp, she managed to send him away in hiding.
There was a whole village led by a young I think schoolteacher who hid several children and teenagers. Heroes? The schoolteacher was arrested.
A jewish woman who smuggeled children.
A headmistress and schoolteachers who hid their jewish pupils.
To me that is heroic.
There's a television program in Sweden awarding "everyday hero's". A bit maudling, but important. Things like fighting for rights of women, helping somebody who is attacked by violence.
Maybe heroic acts should include, being a single parent trying to do your best for your children, taking care of a demented spouse, standing up to a bully in school, enduring a horrible medical treament, hiding a refuge. It is easy to search for heroes in movies and history, but what about now. Do we have the courage to truly question what happens or the courage to help somebody in trouble. Don't know.
I don't know if I Believe in heroes anymore, but I do believe in heroic actions.
Worse then ever, almost
Haven't had such an ugly "hem bleed ass" since I was 22 and didn't have time to take toilet breaks. Well, It has been bad for a week since the latest spell of diarrohea. Ahhh got the advice, since I've done all tests for the time being, to use ointment. Yeas, and a possible sideeffect is bleeding. Hm, explain that. So I haven't taken the ointment, but my ass doesn't heal so I suppose I have to.
Any way. Concerned but not panicing exept for toilet visits. Please ASS HEAL. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
I DON*T want to have it. Anyway, periods finally arrived so There will be blood, ha ha.
Wonder when I'll get the coloscopy, and where. Four possible hospitals.
Any way. Concerned but not panicing exept for toilet visits. Please ASS HEAL. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
I DON*T want to have it. Anyway, periods finally arrived so There will be blood, ha ha.
Wonder when I'll get the coloscopy, and where. Four possible hospitals.
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
fuck shit anxiety
Shit busted my a rear end or whatever you call it. It hurt, is sore and there was blood. NOT A H again. Part of me thinks, it's because of upset stomach, and upset stomach is because of stress. Then I read about carcinoma or something that gives those symptoms that I have. HOPEFULLY work will be calmer and my, knock on wood, stomach as well. Anyway, got letter from doctor, they found nothing and are now putting me on waiting list for coloscopy.
AHHHHH so what can I do but wait and pray.
Wish me luck. Good night. Anyway, thank god I did good at work to night. Great author.
AHHHHH so what can I do but wait and pray.
Wish me luck. Good night. Anyway, thank god I did good at work to night. Great author.
Monday, 13 October 2008
Book thief Markus Zusak
Can't decide. Good, not so good or a feelgood novel, for grownups or young adults? Don't know still, liked it.
A story about second world war, love, resistance and thieves. Told by death himself. Lots of smiles, lots of tears. And it makes you fall in love with books and reading again. I liked it. But I think I will forget it fast. It is like a great story but not with the true magic. I liked the books in the book, and its flow. Because there must be a lightness in telling since all those pages just flies by.
And there can never be told too many stories about evil and Good in people. And the images. I like books which turn into movies in my head and this one did. I can probably re tell the story almost completely, not because of words but because of my images.
A story about second world war, love, resistance and thieves. Told by death himself. Lots of smiles, lots of tears. And it makes you fall in love with books and reading again. I liked it. But I think I will forget it fast. It is like a great story but not with the true magic. I liked the books in the book, and its flow. Because there must be a lightness in telling since all those pages just flies by.
And there can never be told too many stories about evil and Good in people. And the images. I like books which turn into movies in my head and this one did. I can probably re tell the story almost completely, not because of words but because of my images.
Doing Terry
Did a Terry went to movie quiz despite a threatening diarrhoea. (Can never learn to spell that can I.) Joined a fabulous team. AND WE WON. Specially happy about two free movie tickets. YEAH. And lo and behold, stomach sort of went into background when the competing endorphins took over.
Dear God help me work tomorrow, going to work for ten hours or something.
Dear God help me to remember filling in my sick leave. Dear God help me with my economy.
SHIT. Shit, shit, shit. I am lousy at managing my money, add that to list of worrying problems. And well the money or lack of them is all my fault. All my managing mistakes. Shit. I have no one to blame. I have not grown up until I can manage my own economy.
Fuck.
Dear God help me work tomorrow, going to work for ten hours or something.
Dear God help me to remember filling in my sick leave. Dear God help me with my economy.
SHIT. Shit, shit, shit. I am lousy at managing my money, add that to list of worrying problems. And well the money or lack of them is all my fault. All my managing mistakes. Shit. I have no one to blame. I have not grown up until I can manage my own economy.
Fuck.
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