Medication praise- and worries

OK, It just can't be true. My body is disturbed but now my mind is fucked up as well. I love my pills, but have they stopped working? Have the side effects overshadowed their benefits. I am into my sixth year on Sertraline/serotonin/SSRI.

I am experiencing confusion, anxiety, fatigue. Hm, why. Because this is a deep depression fit? Starting to have memory problems. Panic. Why? I am trying to lower the dose but I am only into the third day so that shouldn't be it. What is wrong with my life?

Will probably stop lowering the dose until I am out of the darkness.

Hm....I was going to write a critical post on medication but I don't know.

I love this medication. I just don't understand people who called it "happypills" it is not. Some people claim that SSRI made them feel less and made them feel detached from life. I believe them. Since my sensations got less. I believe them since my emotions stopped fluctuating.

But for my part that made me "normal". It gave me access to deeper emotions. It has side effects. I believe every medication has. I believe only God can heal without a price to pay.
When it comes to this medication I think it is sometimes given too lightly. One shouldn't get it for grief, for a crisis, for being a little worn out. They are not magic pills. I have heard people got them prescripted when being in grief and then having a hard time getting off them. That is like crazy, or old people who get them, when the elderly people might be better off ( in my opinion) with more social contacts and better care from society and family. You don't get addicted but your body reacts with abstinence when going off them, more or less. And I believe in a "psychological addiction" meaning they make me feel safe and I wonder and worries what will happen without them

They are not magical candy. The pills are potent and therefore not harmless. I worry about side effects and the price I might have to pay. But for me, it was a way to be alive. It hurts me that cutting down the dose seems to fail. But I will try again.

So back to the dose. Back to see if (oh yes here we go) it's Alzheimer's, brain tumour or the same old depression paying a visit.