Still alive

OK, was half dead this morning and midday. AND then I must have moved into a new dimension or stress level, because then I just kept going. Have talked to everybody about my stomach and depression. Not very professionally. Had an information evening, turned out I was one of the least informed. Well.... have to work on that. I also forgot to turn a computer off, I hope the library doesn't burn down. I will just keep on going tomorrow as well. I think I remember what worries me. To do a great job. I worry that I am not good enough. That I don't do my work properly, that I think and then nothing happens. I'll have to work on that.

Anxiety, so many things I haven't been doing. Have to deal with it one thing at a time. Tomorrow........tomorrow..... bus, then booktalk. It must be reality that bothers me. I am just not good enough.

Anyway, read an article about the movie The diving bell and the butterfly, where Monsieur Baubys friends protested on certain things, like the picture of his "mother to his children" and his love, who in the movie never visits apparently she did that all the time in real life. Well, that changes a lot. Anyway, good movie but apparently not entirely true.